For Those Whose Dads Were Less Than Stellar: A Father's Day Celebration
My tribute to my father
Today is Father's Day and there will be a constant stream of posts on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, videos on YouTube, and even dance routines on TikTok, all celebrating the great dads of the world.
It's a celebration of sorts to show that for those of us whose fathers fell far short of the claims that others will be making throughout the day—as their loving Pop, hero, first love, patient dad, life coach, funny patriarch, wise sage, best father ever—we can honor and pay tribute to ourselves for having grown up without a father's warm and protective embrace.
As a child, I competed with my father’s mistress. Yearning for an equal share of my father’s love, I was no match against her magnetic hold on him. Powerless, I, along with my mother and sisters, accepted her presence, and the control she possessed over our lives. Beautiful, demanding, fickle, many times driving my father to despair, Heritage, the forty-foot sailboat he built (with the help and long hours from my mother, sisters, and me), held our lives in the balance.
A decade later, she would carry us through wild seas and along desolate shores toward an unknown future.
Her power would ultimately destroy him. And free me.
Fifty years later, I would write our story.
In doing so, I would learn to love her as he did, and, ultimately, forgive him for not loving me.
Our imperfect lives have made us strong, resilient, and fearless. So for that, I say thank you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
There is no perfection. So many of those happy ‘memes’ are distorted memories.
If I had followed my father's plans for my future and not held fast to my dreams, I would probably be retired from a job at "the shop." "The shop," meaning the factory where he felt I should make my life–a miserable life like his, dictated by the blowing of the whistle that called the worker bees in at eight and out at five.